10 Worst Case Scenarios to Take my Mind off the Worst Case Scenario

Responding to today’s Daily Prompt, I offer this:

Every day since December 4, 2008, I have sweated the small stuff thinking that little twinge in my back, the slight burn in my chest, and an aching in my left arm were signs of a heart attack.  Not a day goes by that this is not my worst case scenario.  Five-plus years of cardiac fear?  Could anything be more boring to write about?

Instead, I’d like to imagine new things that could go wrong.  Here’s my list:

  1. My denture falls out when I sneeze while speaking to a group.
  2. I walk around with the back of my skirt tucked into my underwear, unknowingly.
  3. I find out that my co-workers don’t actually like me.  They feel sorry for me.
  4. I discover that my co-workers are actually zombies.
  5. The real Zombie Apocalypse is not as funny as Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland.
  6. My cats learn to speak English, and they tell me they are Republicans.
  7. Birds follow me around.  Everywhere.
  8. A crazy Tea Partier drives me off the road because of my Obama bumper sticker.
  9. I’m not as smart as I thought I was.
  10. Chocolate disappears from the face of the earth, thanks to aliens.

Best thing that could happen?  I stop worrying about having another heart attack.

11 Comments 10 Worst Case Scenarios to Take my Mind off the Worst Case Scenario

  1. carolsalisbury May 2, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    All those things are bad, but not the chocolate. I would go crazy without some of that stuff. I’d blast those aliens. Give me back my chocolate!

    Reply
  2. helen meikle's scribblefest May 2, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    I worry about heart attacks without even having a reason (except, of course, doing all the things guaranteed by the gurus to bring one on.) I’ve also had imaginary cancer in every organ, limb and skin cell. But I do think having Republican cats would be worse, and I’m not even American. (Sorry about the heart attack you did have, hope you are now fully recovered.)

    Reply
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  4. EmmaK May 3, 2014 at 2:19 am

    Great way to put life in perspective…though I am now worried I won’t be able to kill zombies with all the vinyl I refuse to throw away (it’s the only reason I keep my old albums)

    Reply
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    1. Meg June 28, 2014 at 8:40 am

      Yeah, that one made my husband laugh too…though it would be terrifying. LOL.

      Reply
  6. Silverleaf August 7, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    I have equivalent cancer fears. Maybe I should try this exercise.

    Reply

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