Stupid Kid Tricks

Subtitle: Things That Should Have Killed Me

A friend and I were talking the other day about floating in the gutter water after a big rainstorm. We didn’t grow up in the same neighborhood, nor in the same time (I’m 6 years older), but floating in the gutter after a rainstorm seems to be one of those shared suburban youth experiences. Today, we’re both a little disgusted by the thought of gutter water, which led me thinking about all the stupid stuff I did as a kid. Here’s a list:

  1. Crawling through the sewer lines.
  2. Doing cartwheels and back handsprings on the pitch of the roof of our house.
  3. Running directly behind the mosquito spray truck, on purpose.
  4. Swinging on the swing set as high as I could and then trying to do a front-sommie after jumping out of the swing.
  5. Joining the diving team—I was ill-prepared for the power of the board and hit my head.
  6. Jumping from the skeletal second floors of barely constructed houses that were always popping up behind our home.
  7. Trying out for a professional tumbling group that performed for circuses, in which I was expected to climb three people high and then do a back flip off the last person’s shoulders. I wasn’t invited back.

Somewhere along the line, probably around the age of 13, my stupid kid tricks turned to stupid adolescent adventures that are better left undocumented. Suffice it to say that one involved getting high with a guy known only as The Colonel.

Feel free to share yours.

6 Comments Stupid Kid Tricks

  1. Miss-Black June 7, 2007 at 5:11 pm

    I think as a child I had a strong self-preservationist streak. I don’t remember doing anything really dangerous. My own mother would probably dispute that statement, though. I do remember that the neighbor kids used to get up on their roof to jump off into their above ground swimming pool. I also remember watching them and thinking, “Wow. That’s just dangerously stupid.” I think I saved up all of my retarded derring-do for my drug and alcohol fueled years. There was no private property I wouldn’t have trespassed on while high on a pint of gin.

  2. Meg June 7, 2007 at 8:08 pm

    You should ask your mom. Maybe you blocked it out. 😉

  3. J_Rare June 8, 2007 at 9:08 am

    good list. this brings back fond memories. to add to it, climbing trees as high as the tree would allow, building forts in a nearby junkyard (hey hey hey) and swimming in ‘dangerous’ rock quarry’s, fishing, bmx, bb guns. all in a summer’s vacation.

    i don’t think anything has equaled the excitement of school breaking for the summer.

    i wanna go back.

  4. Cookie June 8, 2007 at 11:33 am

    The only thing I can come up with is how my brother and I used to throw lawn darts at each other, but we were actually trying to seriously injure/maim/blind/kill each other, so it’s not really the same.

  5. Meg June 8, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    Hey J Rare—Did your quarry have a mythical whirlpool in it? Or was there another reason it was dangerous?

  6. J_Rare June 9, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    If there were a mythical whirlpool, we would have found it. (Did a lot of Jacques Cousteau “deep sea” diving in it for the thrill of it) I seem to recall every year kids drowned in rock quarries. So they were considered dangerous. I think the reason most quarries were hazardous were due to steep avalanche prone walls. /shrug

    We also had a railroad bridge (tressel?) that the brave would climb to the top and jump into the muddy waters of the Alum creek below. Smoked my first bowl there.

    Good times.


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