Sometimes
I hear music
Echoing recklessly
In this woolly worn cave. It sings,
Wordless.
Sometimes
Phrases sift soft around my feet
Like sawdust or sand grains,
Gritty but mine.
I write.
After Lascaux (a mirror cinquain)
PIGSPITTLE OHIO
you may ask yourself, well, how did i get here
You took my breath away! I love every single word of this, Meg, from the title right through your multi-sensory images, to the very last word. “It sings, / Wordless.” “Phrases sift soft around my feet.” Perfection.
Thanks, you lovely reader, Silver! I feel connected to Lascaux though sad to know I’ll never be inside it. I’m glad you liked the “sift soft” — probably should have been “softly” to be grammatically correct but I took some poetic license. Muah, my friend.
<3 <3 <3
Back at ya.
(I know my comment was neither concrete nor helpful, but when I read this I felt awestruck and like a total scribbler. This hit me in just the right place–understated, perfect.) “woolly worn cave. It sings,” o.m.g.
You’re so sweet! I figured you just didn’t have time to comment — that’s what I do when I don’t have time but I like a piece. 😉 Anyway, I’m really glad you liked it! And you are hardly a scribbler — you should see me rolling my eyes at that. You are a poet.
If they started off gritty you managed to turn them into something beautiful and smooth, with all this dust falling to your feet you’ve managed to pick out the most precious without feeling like you need to fill the empty space. Keep writing it’s working 🙂
What a lovely, thoughtful comment. Where have you been? We’ve missed you around these parts. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
You earned it! Damn everyone wrote cinquains I feel bad about it now…
I jumped through a loophole in time and landed here, sorry to keep you waiting 😉
Really I was very busy and had little inspiration but now that I’m back in hope I can keep writing and not missing the deadlines
This wins cinquains, as far as I’m concerned. It doesn’t hurt that I want to go to Lascaux so badly.
Awww, Nat, such a beautiful compliment. Thank you. Yes, how I wish we could go to Lascaux! Did you see that documentary that Wim Wenders (I think it was him) did? The only time anyone has been allowed in to film, at least in recent years. And may be the last since they are trying so hard to keep the images from degrading.
Nope — it was Werner Herzog: http://revuecinema.ca/c/cave-of-forgotten-dreams
Weird. I was editing a page today with that pictograph on it. I love the phrases at my feet like sawdust.
Hi! I nominated you for Infinity Dreams Award in my post https://cashmereandsilverlinings.wordpress.com/2015/03/14/infinity-dreams-award/ so check it out!